So about a half hour before a person was scheduled to go live on air, you had to meet with the folks who put your mic pack on. This involved them lifting up your shirt at the back and attaching the pack to the waistband of your pants. Then they would reach up the back of your shirt and out at the neck to place the ear piece in your ear and tape the wire down. Then they would come around front and feed the microphone wire up the front of your shirt and attach it somewhere to your shirt front and tape the extra wire down under your shirt. This was all pretty intimate. For the "celebrity" guests they would do this in the privacy of their personal green room. For us "regular joe" guests they would do this in either the "regular joe" green room or in the hallway just outside their office. There were a few different technicians who would be on at different times and one guy in particular was my favorite because I could really joke with him. And being the smarty pants that I am I started the jokes the first time he put his hands up my shirt! I said, "Gee. Usually a dude would have to at least buy my supper before getting to second base!" He turned bright red and our joke-affair began! I was constantly asking him about how "celebrities" reacted to this procedure. He said that they are really used to it and pay him no attention. I would joke and say things like, "You've touched one of the holy grails of American icons. How did it feel to touch the silky shorts of Richard Simmons?" Or, "Does Lauren Hutton wear a thong?" He never really answered my questions, he would just chuckle and sometimes get red. One time I told him that I had gotten a new tattoo on my lower back and wanted his opinion. So when he lifted my shirt and saw the Sharpie-marker drawing that my friend had made that had an arrow pointing towards my behind and said, "Insert mic pack here" he just cracked up! I would like to think that I was his most fun guest, but I'll bet he's seen it all...
But the real story here is that ear piece. That is used while you are live on air to tell you things like, "Tilt the box more towards the camera." Or, "Mention how many have sold." Besides cameras being pointed at you, there are also TV monitors pointed at you so that you can see exactly what the viewers are seeing. You are able to adjust what you are holding for a better camera angle, etc. Well, I wasn't really nervous about going on live TV. They do not tell you what to say, just give you product details and you have to come up with all the benefits and features that are talked about on your own. But if you are missing something the guys in the control room will tell you, in your ear, while live, what to remember to say. THIS is what made me nervous. I was supposed to keep up a constant stream of chatter, demonstrate how the product worked, remember all the facts, watch my camera angles, watch out for the "walking cameraman" and his cable, smile, keep track of how many were being sold AND then listen to what they were feeding me in my ear. I was nervous that I would answer back or stop talking to listen to them. It freaked me out the first few times it happened. They knew that I was new, so they would say, "Great job." Or, "You are almost sold out." Nice things. I never, ever saw or met these people. I would pass the control room, but the windows that looked out on to the hallway were blackened so I could never see in there. And I never saw anyone coming or going from that booth, so I never said "Hi" face to face. Only over that mic/ear piece. OK...here is the funny part of the story. I had to make the samples that I used on-air. The page layouts that I showed I had created at home using photos from my stash and sometimes from friend's stashes. I had a kit that was called, "All Boys" and of course, I borrowed some photos of Henry from Stacey for my samples. She gave me one classic shot of Henry when he was a little dude standing on top of the seat of a tricycle, with a towel tied around his neck like a cape and NO underwear on. It was the funniest photo and I used it. So my layout was pretty cute, but the title of the page is what was the stand out. It read, "Captain NO Underpants". I thought it was funny, sure. But I wasn't sure how much people really paid attention to that. I mean, the samples just have a few seconds of air time, so who would notice the title and the fact that H had NO underpants on? So here I am talking away about the features of this product..."This kit includes 340 letters, 54 sheets of boy themed paper, ..." while flipping through my samples. Then a male voice in my ear says, "Captain no underpants? Captain NO underpants!!? That is hysterical!" and then just starts to laugh and laugh in my ear. I had to continue on extolling the virtues of this kit while this guy has officially lost it in my ear and the host, hearing the same stuff, is just looking at me with a grin on her face. AND this was maybe my second or third time live on the air.
My days at HSN were sure interesting and FUN! I had a grand education in those hallways and studios! My saddest regret is that my DVR from Bright House crapped out and lost all the saved shows with me on them...I think the only visual record I have is a photo Stacey took for Henry watching Aunt Cissy on TV. (HEY! Stace, I need a copy of that if you can find it.)
Post Script...Oh the glamour!!
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