There IS a good moral to this story...

As you may have heard on the news of late, we have been having some yucky weather up here in the north. Here in PA we didn't get the horrible inches of snow that lots of other states got, but what we did get is a terrible combination of snow then rain. If you don't know what that means here it is in a nutshell...We had a total of about 3" of snow on the ground then 6" more fell. Then we got a wintry mix of snow and rain. Then pure rain. What happens is that the rain melts some of the snow, then at night when the temps drop, that wet snow freezes and the next morning you have lovely ice. (If you couldn't tell, "lovely" was typed with TONS of sarcasm!)

So here is MY story of snow and ice.

-We've got about 6" of snow on the ground in our yard.
-We have finally got our wonderful man from Tanglewood to plow our driveway for the winter. (Until recently, there really hadn't been enough snow to have him come out.)
-The driveway looks great.
-Then the wintry mix comes and the top & bottom part of our driveway are a bit icy.
-The driveway gets plowed, so the snow is gone, but the bit of ice remains.
-I ask Charles if we shouldn't be salting those parts of the driveway. He kind of makes a non-committal remark and the ice remains.
-Now the pure rain comes and the ice from the top part of the drive way now connects to the ice at the bottom part of the driveway to form one solid sheet of ice.
-I come home from work and have to abandon my car 1/2 way up the driveway. Charles arrives home after me and spends over an half of an hour trying to drive my car over the ice and into the garage.
-The steps leading into the house have been snowed on & iced over so many times now that each step has a little mountain of ice on it. Let me tell you that just getting down the steps safely is an occasion!
-Each morning Charles gets up like a good husband and starts my car and turns it around for me so that I am headed down the drive each morning for work.
-I stop at the Agway one evening for dog food and pick up a bag of salt for the steps. I ask Charles if he'll lay the salt on the steps for me. "Sure," is my reply.
-On Friday evening Charles cannot get my car up the driveway so I mention again about salting the driveway. Again, Charles says something about it costing $30 for that much salt (heavens to Murgatroyd!) and that he was "exhausted".
-I stop calling our driveway a "driveway" and start calling it a "skidway".
-On Saturday afternoon we skid down the driveway headed to a church function knowing full well that it is supposed to rain some more that evening and we are NEVER gonna make it back up the driveway.
-We are having to hike down the side of the skidway in the snow to my car because we cannot even think about walking on the skidway!
-Monday evening the salt for the steps is still in the back of my car, my car makes it 3/4 of the way up the drive and Charles is in too bad of a mood to mess with getting my car in the garage.
-Tuesday morning I hear the buzz of a text message on my phone. It's Gail telling me that the preschool is on a 2 hour opening delay because of the snowfall last night. Charles is in a BAD mood and doesn't warm my car up or turn it around on the skidway for me. I am on my own at turning it around at the top of the skidway. (This is NOT a good thing!)
-I scrape all the snow off my car, all the while cursing someone for not salting the drive and/or putting my car in the garage on the night that it snows! I let my engine warm up and the ice on the windshield melt while I psyche myself up for the turnabout. I am not even gonna try to back it down the skidway!! Backwards skidding just seems like less fun than frontwards skidding. I back/skid down a bit, pull forward a bit, back up a bit, pull forward a bit...all this over crunching snow and slippery ice. Back up a bit, pull forward some more, having more and more trouble with skidding. Now I am 100% horizontal in the driveway and I cannot back up anymore and I cannot move forward anymore. I am stuck. Stuck in the skidway. Stuck horizontally! I am now gonna be late to work, if I make it at all! I push down hard on the gas to move forward...nothing but spinning tires. I try reverse with a little less gas, because behind my car somewhere close, is a HUGE tank of propane that I imagine skidding into and blowing me, the tank and my car up a'la a McGruber episode. I break down and call in late to work. Miss DeeDee says she understand 'cause she's seen my driveway, but she still laughs at me a bit! I step out of my car, look at the wretched mess that I am in, pull up my big girl pants, get back into the car and WILL my car to move. I gun the gas forward, then back, then forward and I am moving! I'm doing it. I free my car just enough to get my tires on the grass through the snow and decide that a pile of snow might be easier to drive through than over ice and I circle through the grass and get my tires back on the skidway and am down the drive in a minute! GO ME!
-I get home after work this evening and can only get my car 3/4 of the way up again. As easy as you please, I hop out of the car, grab a cup & pocket knife, split open the bag of salt and salt the crap out of the front porch steps! There is leftover salt, so I salt the crap out of my tire ruts. I have enough to do about half of the skidway, but just MY tire ruts! When I am done, I hop back into my car and lo and behold, my car gets gription and goes right into the garage. And I don't slip on the steps going into the house. Again, GO ME! The moral of this tale is: When your husband is being a dork about an extremely necessary chore and you don't want to get stuck in the driveway anymore, sometimes a girl has got to salt her own ruts!