I've said it before and I'm sayin' it again-I am scared of bears! I lay total blame on nature shows. I can remember from an early age watching Marlin Perkins go on about bears and recently there are tons of shows that warn all about naughty bear behavior. Even with my bear-terror, I still watch. Oh, yes, I've even watched ALL the episodes of that crazy dude who lived with them! Excuse me...BOTH crazy dudes who live/lived with bears. (One got eaten) I have yet to come across the show titled, "When Bears Give Back Rubs". Maybe if there was a show like that I wouldn't worry so much, but all the shows I've found are more like, "When Bears Rip Your Face Off!" I still remember the show where a bear-attack survivor recalled the noise the bear's claws made as they drug across her skull. In fact, that is the exact noise I hear when I see a bear. It doesn't matter what kind of barrier is in between me and the bear, my brain goes directly to the image of that bear getting to me and making that noise. The imagination is an awful, awesome thing!
Well, you can guess or may already know from either a Facebook post or three or a frantic phone call, that about a week and a half ago I had myself a bear encounter! It started like lots of things start in our house-Kiwi was barking at something. Kiwi barks at all kinds of stuff...roving dogs, wind, TV dogs, cars coming up the dive, Luna and our Halloween yard signs. I have learned what barks are real and what are "wolf" barks. This particular afternoon I heard a really-real bark coming from our little dog and decided that since I needed a sweater so that I could keep scrapbooking, I would investigate. I came into the computer room and Kiwi was sitting on the bed looking out the front so I looked out too. Saw nothing. Zip. Then I turned from the front window to scold Kiwi for making me look at nothing, and there it was. A bear. Just outside the side window. This part of the house sits higher than the ground where the bear was so I felt confident to lean in towards the window to get a better look and then I noticed that my one bear cub was actually three bear cubs and their mama sitting just outside the window. After hearing "the noise" in my head, I backed away from the window, did a little "holy crap, holy crap" dance and grabbed my handy camera. Immediately I started snapping away!
This is the first photo I took. This is almost the exact spot where Ginger drags me every time she has to go potty. (Not anymore!) The bears started moving down the side of the house, away from the road and towards the woods. Now, I am starting to follow them moving from window to window. The house levels off and by the time I would have been at the back of the house I would not have had a nice height advantage, so I chickened out and instead of following them down the side of the house, I veered off a bit and went to the big window in the dining room. Big bay window with a great view and no screen to mess up my photos. Here stands me in the window snapping photos.
In the last photo you can see one cub hiding in the woods. Well, mama sent them in there because a couple of times my camera flashed and she noticed it. She actually was standing up on her back feet looking around for where I was. Do you have any idea how stinkin' scared I was? I probably wet myself at one point-not sure! But after a few minutes of looking for me, she didn't spot me so she gave the "all clear" for the cubs to come out and for some unknown reason I decided to go into our bedroom where I would be the closest to where the bears were in the yard. (Take a deep breath with me here, 'cause I was freaking out!) Once there I noticed that mama was holding one of her front paws funny and when I looked closer, I saw that it was all mangled and bent in. (If you follow me on FB, then you now know that it MUST have been her mangled 4-toed foot print in the snow on my front porch days earlier!!) I am still taking photos as you can see, but not exactly from a "front-row" seat. I stood almost to the door, not getting too close all the while trying to figure out my exit strategy if they decided to come on in through a window! Also trying to figure out just how many indoor critters I could scoop up and run with!
They now start to lope down the side of the house, going back the way they came. I have to keep pace to take the last few parting shots.
If the time record on my photos is accurate my bear encountered lasted a total of 5 minutes. To me is seemed much, much longer. I have no desire to see bears. My life is not any happier or richer for this encounter. Well, if pressed, it makes for a good story. But, heck! I'm an average storyteller, I could easily make something up if I wanted to. Charles, on the other hand, is rabid about wanting to see bears in the yard. If anyone is keeping score...Total bear encounter in the new house-for me: 2; for Charles : 0. He is pretty upset about this. Do NOT ask me what he did the other evening in a cornfield with a flashlight! Him and is desire to see a bear. Maybe I should TiVo one of those bear shows for him. A healthy fear is a good thing...
FIVE + ONE + a very timely email. (LONG)
15 years ago